


Heda gon ai tombom (Commander of My Heart)

by GreyRainbows



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Arkadia the 100, Clarke Griffin - Freeform, Clarke kom Skaikru, Clexa, Commander Lexa, Duty, F/F, Heda Lexa, Heda and Wanheda - Freeform, Lexa kom Trikru - Freeform, Lexa the 100, Love, Polis the 100, Politics, Skaikru the 100, Soulmates, The 100 - Freeform, Trikru the 100, clarke and lexa - Freeform, duty versus love, may we meet again, wanheda
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-18
Updated: 2016-03-18
Packaged: 2018-05-27 13:39:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,163
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6286816
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GreyRainbows/pseuds/GreyRainbows
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The forgotten moments leading up to Clarke visiting Lexa in 3x07, the resulting love scene and Clarke's thoughts on her duty to her people versus her love for the Commander of 12.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Heda gon ai tombom (Commander of My Heart)

Clarke found herself struggling to breathe. Conflicting emotions and thoughts ran rampant in her head. Ever since she saw Octavia bound and gagged and dragged into council chambers by other members of Trikru Clarke had felt uncomfortable. She wanted to cry out and demand that they release her friend but she knew she must hold her tongue. The entire fight with Roan had been because the clan leaders, predominately Nia, thought that Clarke was Lexa's weakness. Whether her weakness in love or in war the blond could not be sure; the only thing she knew was that among the grounders weakness was not tolerated. Lexa, for her part, was trying to stave off a war by instating a blockade and using a kill order to enforce it. They both knew that this was not enough. The Sky people had rejected the seal of the Thirteenth clan and thus branded themselves an enemy of Lexa and her coalition. It appeared time had reversed itself and they were right back at the beginning. Another war between the "them" and the "us" groups. Clarke for all her neutrality had to pick a side.

"We might be drawing a line but who's to say you can't choose to stay on this side of it" Lexa pleaded with her.

"You have one hour to say your good byes." Octavia demanded of her. 

Strangely enough it was Octavia's voice vibrated in her ears as she stood by the window in her room over looking the city of Polis. There was peace here. Clarke wondered if this was the only place where peace between the clans existed. Seeing the clans live together gave her both hope and fear. Hope that one day there would be no more need of wars, that she and Lexa could govern their people without the constant pull of politics and petty grievances. The sight of the Grounders also made her shiver at the thought of a full on attack against her people. She'd barely been able to avoid Lexa's armies the first time they encircled the camp, but she did, at a high cost. She hardly ever thought of Finn now. That was unless she looked at Raven. The mechanic smiled, ate and drank with the rest of her friends yet Clarke knew Finn was her anchor. Maybe she'd find some solace with Wick. It'd been months since she'd seen the rest of the hundred, the only news she'd been receiving lately were words of attacks by Skaikru to villages near Arkadia. 

"One hour."

Clarke dropped her head to her chest and closed her eyes. She had left the rest of her people with Bellamy, surely he could handle command. At least that's what she told herself. In her time apart she told herself many things. That her killing everyone in Mt. Weather had been to save the ones she loved. That her mother, Kane and Bellamy would see to the survival of the Arkers. That Lexa was a liar, a manipulator, cold and soulless. That it was better if she didn't return to her friends and family. She was a target now, undoubtedly from her actions at the mountain. Her return would only lead to another attack from the clans, perhaps they believed Clarke would set her sights on them as retribution for Lexa's betrayal. The biggest lie she'd told herself was that by leaving she would no longer be Klark kom Skaikru, leader of the Sky people. 

She'd always be their leader. She should have listened when Octavia told her everyone was always counting on her. 

One hour. Gods how long had she sat at this window? Looking down again at the streets of Polis Clarke watched as children played and babes clung to their mother's shirts. Men clasped arms and hugged one another calling each other brother. She knew she had to go back. The Arkers would never have peace when there was dissent among their own ranks. Pike had to go. Perhaps once he was gone Clarke could return to Polis. To Lexa.

Shoving away from the wall Clarke exited her room and began the seemingly long walk to Lexa's chambers. She stood a moment at the door and caught her breath before turning the knob and allowing herself to enter. She looked around the room for a moment half expecting Lexa to be either reading or mediating. Her breath caught in her chest and her heart seemed to stop when she saw Lexa coming from around the corner where she knew another balcony to be located. Her hair was free of braids, soft brown curls collected on her right shoulder. Armor abandoned and face clear of war paint Clarke could almost convince herself that it was just her and Lexa. Lexa the girl not the commander of twelve clan. Almost, yet the circular pendant that lay on her head reminded Clarke of Lexa's duty to the clans and her duty to her own people. She knew the moment Lexa looked at her with those green eyes the commander had already come to terms with her decision.

"When do you leave?" She asked softly.

"Now" Clarke returned just as gently. Taking a few steps forward, "I'm sorry." She offered.

"Don't be. You have to go back they're your people." Lexa paused staring at Clarke, "That's why I..."

Clarke looked up and locked eyes with the commander, daring her to finish that sentence. An internal war waged in Clarke. She knew that if Lexa told her, she loved her, she'd break. She watched the emotions dance across the brunette's face. Raising an eyebrow she urged Lexa to continue.

"That's why you're you" Lexa finished, not selfish enough to complicate matters more for Clarke.

Clarke nodded. The matter was decided. Lexa was letting her go. "Maybe someday you and I will owe nothing more to our people." Clarke ventured. A shot in the dark, entirely hopeless but she had to convey to Lexa that if things stood differently she would have remained in Polis with her.

Lexa smiled half-heartedly comprehending the underlying tones of Clarke's sentiment. "I hope so." She answered then extended her arm to the other leader and when Clarke grabbed it in her own Lexa responded, "May we meet again".

Clarke understood it to be a prayer. When Lexa left the Sky people at Mt. Weather she'd told Clarke "May we meet again" but it lacked the hopefulness of this confession. It was in truth, a good bye. At Mt. Weather Lexa had acquiesced the fact that she'd lost Clarke. She'd won the battle, her people were returned safely and she'd be celebrated for this victory over the mountain men. But she had lost Clarke. Lexa could read the shock and disbelief in Clarke's eyes. This time when Lexa said "May we meet again" Clarke knew she was praying that she'd return to her. That life would not pit them against each other a third time. Against her better judgement Clarke closed the gap between the two of them and planted her lips on Lexa's. 

Clarke could feel the insecurity in Lexa's posture. The way her muscles tensed in those first few seconds as if reality hadn't hit her that Clarke was kissing her. Her lips were stiff and still before relaxing into Clarke's own. Clarke's lips played with Lexa's until the other girl answered her and then she strengthen the kiss. She wanted Lexa to feel the passion between the two of them. She wanted Lexa to know that her feelings had been reciprocated, that she had long since forgiven Lexa's actions at the mountain. But above all else she wanted Lexa to feel her longing, her desire to stay. A sudden wetness stopped her actions and Clarke backed out of the kiss.

She watched as a single tear ran from Lexa's eye to her cheek. Lexa for her part remained still allowing Clarke to dictate where this interaction between the two of them lead. Clarke paused a moment more before reuniting their lips. This time Lexa fully participated in the kiss, grabbing and holding on to Clarke as much as possible. It was as though the other girl was trying to commit into memory the touch, taste, smell of her Sky princess. Clarke returned as much as she received. She could feel Lexa trembling under her kisses and caresses. Whether from excitement, sadness or both Clarke couldn't be sure. However she was happy when Lexa did not retreat from her. They stood like that for a moment. Lost in time to the soft gasps of each other's breaths. The pounding of their hearts and the setting of the sun behind them. Clarke's finger found their way to Lexa's top and began undressing her. Lexa allowed the straps to fall from her skin and half leading, half following Clarke sat down on her bed. She gazed up at Clarke again conveying in her eyes the words her tongue could not form. Clarke followed her onto the bed.

It was different with Lexa, then again Clarke assumed it was different with everybody. With Finn her love had been quick and frantic. They had come to the ground and were fighting a seemingly lost battle against the grounders. In that bunker she witnessed his break down. When the mind can no longer form rational thoughts it is human nature to express your anger in a physical manner. Finn was throwing things, breaking things, screaming while his remaining energy slowly leaked from his body. He had no more fight left in him when Clarke kissed him. She had kissed Finn and in the moment she truly believed herself to be in love with him. She believed she was giving him something to fight for. They made love with the clumsiness and haste of teenagers but at least she had saved him.

Niylah, though she'd been sweet, was fleeting. Clarke needed to know she was still human. Needed to feel what it was like to have the touch of another on her skin. Niylah submitted to Clarke's whim and the beast in the blond had taken over. She'd taken the older woman again and again. Awaking her out of her sleep until Clarke was satisfied. She'd left marks on the tan skin where teeth had met flesh. Her nails cut deeply into Niylah's arms and sides in her attempt to ground herself in reality. To reality. She left no time for exploration only midly more experienced with Niylah then she'd been with Finn. Niylah to her benefit asked no question and accepted Clarke's burden. When Clarke awoke she viewed in better light the extent of their illicit affair. The reddish-purple bruises would be all that Niylah had to remember her by unless the infamous Wanheda returned to trade once more where she'd again act as though they hadn't spent hours losing themselves in each other's bodies. 

But with Lexa she was gentle. She prided herself on the way the commander's fingers tangled themselves in her hair as she kissed Lexa from top to bottom. Her hands moved deliberately over every swell and dip of her partners body. Ghost like digits eliciting barely audible gasps of breath as they teased Lexa's most intimate places. Knuckles turned white as Lexa fought the urge to dominate Clarke grabbing onto the furs. Clarke noticed and swiftly pulled one of Lexa's hands from the bed to secure it to her own. Providing Lexa with an anchor while she shook and trembled. Clarke's mouth and other hand found themselves worshiping Lexa's body more feverishly with every twitch of her frame. After bringing Lexa to an orgasm Clarke dragged her body back on top of the brunette clasping her mouth on now dry lips letting Lexa taste herself on Clarke's lips and tongue. As Lexa moved to return the favor to Clarke she met a resisting hand against her shoulder. 

"No." Clarke said quietly. "I want to stay like this...just for a little while longer. I want to remember you the way you look right now. Sweaty and breathless for me." Crawling closer she wrapped her arms around Lexa's waist, resting her head on Lexa's chest. "Lay with me for awhile?" She questioned.

Lexa wrapped her arms around Clarke, running her hands through Clarke's hair. "For a little while." 

Without Lexa's permission her brain sunk into post coital sleep with Clarke still fully awake and listening to the sound of her breathing. Octavia would kill her if they missed the curfew yet she couldn't begin to tear herself away from the warmth and security the furs currently provided. Regretfully Clarke drew herself up to move out of the bed. She dressed quietly granting the commander a few more moments of sleep. Sadly, after she was fully dressed she walked to the opposite side of the bed where Lexa slept and bent down. Placing a painful good bye kiss on her forehead she vowed. "We will meet again ai hodnes."

**Author's Note:**

> ai hodnes - my love


End file.
